How to Be Effective at Communicating Your Sexual Needs to a One-Night Stand?

Communication is vital in any sexual relationship, especially when it comes to casual encounters. 

To ensure that both partners feel comfortable, understanding each other's sexual needs is key.

After all, what do we want more than fun and satisfaction when we engage in an ONS?

The article below tackles a few valuable tips on communicating your sexual needs and desires in the heat of the night!

Follow these tips to ensure that both partners have a mutually gratifying experience. 

Establish Consent 

Let’s start with ground rules.

Having the matter of consent clear from the beginning will set the stage for a memorable encounter without unpleasant consequences.

Making sure everyone is on the same page regarding expectations and personal limits will ensure you are fully relaxed about what’s happening at the moment and about what will occur afterwards!

This could look like discussing what sexual activities you and your partner are comfortable doing.

Especially if their boundaries are far more narrow than yours—you should still listen carefully to what your partner is saying and ensure that anything you do wit them is consensual.

Being pushy or trying to manipulate someone into doing something they don't want to do is an absolute no-no.

It may be more challenging for some people to communicate openly with an ONS than with a long-term partner. Yet, this essential initial step needs to be taken in the process. 

So, have an open dialogue about what kinds of sexual activities you are willing to do and which ones are off the table so that you can switch into full sexual liberty mode right off!

Talk Openly and Honestly

Being open and honest about sexual desires is essential if you want to have fun!

This means being comfortable talking about your fantasies and needs without fearing judgment.

Easier said than done?

Some people indeed feel anxious about bringing up sexual desires with someone they have just met. However, consider that you will likely never see your one-night-stand partner ever again, so who cares? Just let it out of your system! 

You can start with a statement such as "I'd like..." or "I'm curious about doing..." to invite your partner to ask questions and respond with their ideas.

This is the moment to go for it, whatever you want to try and were hesitant to ask for before! 

Having honest and open communication about sexual needs is essential for both parties involved in a sexual relationship, and even more so when it's a casual, one-time meeting where partners don't know each other. 

So, don't be afraid to express what you want, but also make sure to listen carefully to your partner as they share their desires. Being open to feedback from your partner is critical; allowing them space to voice their thoughts and feelings will help create a safe atmosphere for both of you.

Communicate Through Non-Verbal Cues

We suggest paying attention to non-verbal cues, but by this, we are not saying that "yes" means "no"! 

“No” is “no.” (unless agreed otherwise)

What we mean is that non-verbal communication is extremely helpful when it comes to sexual interactions. 

If you make full use of it, it will become your superpower!

Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, voice, and the intensity of touch. 

These non-verbal hints help you figure out what your partner fancies in bed, even if you didn't have time to get to know each other well and discuss what you like directly.

So, on top of being direct with communication about sexual needs, it's also essential to remain mindful of body language and physical cues from your partner. 

In the heat of the moment, it can be easy to miss subtle changes in behaviour that could indicate that your ONS is feeling uncomfortable or doesn’t want to continue. 

Taking everything into account, pay attention to nonverbal cues to pump up the sexual experience and to be able to detect when things go wrong. 

Practice Good Sexual Health 

Especially when it comes to one-night sexual encounters, people involved should never forget to protect themselves.

This includes using condoms and other protection, getting tested regularly for STIs, and being aware of potential risks.

Some most popular sex health issues are human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and reproductive tract infections (RTIs) and their adverse outcomes (such as cancer and infertility); 

One party may be resistant to wearing protection (and it's a relatively common scenario).

How should you react in such cases?

In the article "How To: Asking a Partner to Wear Protection," Felix Team shares a few helpful tips on guiding the conversation about it. 

You are in charge of your body—as the Team rightly notices—Adamantly remind your partner that you practice safe sex and that it is non-negotiable and that you do this not just for yourself but for them as well. Don't forget that it's never too late to back out and that just because you've started having a conversation about sex doesn't mean you have to go through with it if you don't 100% feel like it.

Also, keep in mind sexual health is so much more than protecting yourself from sexually transmitted infections.

According to the current working definition by WHO, sexual health is:

“…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.” (WHO, 2006a)

Communication is the foundation of any sexual relationship, but when engaging with someone on a one-night stand basis, it's even more necessary to ensure the meeting goes as both partners expect.

Create a safe atmosphere where you and your partner feel comfortable talking about sexual desires and concerns, where everyone feels respected and heard—it's vital for successful sexual encounters of all shapes and forms.

With an honest dialogue and attentiveness to verbal and non-verbal cues, sexual communication will go swimmingly and leave you both satisfied. 

While it may feel intimidating to open up about sexual desires, ultimately, having this conversation can lead to more meaningful sexual experiences, and, let's put it clearly, this is the only thing you want from a one-night stand.

Be respectful of boundaries. Be honest about what you want. Be safe. 

And, last but not least, have fun!

References:

Felix Team, "How To: Asking a Partner to Wear Protection," Felix for You, last updated 02.01.2023, https://www.felixforyou.ca/blog-posts/how-to-asking-a-partner-to-wear-protection

WHO, "Sexual and Reproductive Health and Research (SRH)," World Health Organization, last updated 02.01.2023, https://www.who.int/teams/sexual-and-reproductive-health-and-research/key-areas-of-work/sexual-health/defining-sexual-health